Accepting Emotions
& Feelings Wheel

Accepting Emotions

All feelings are ok
Feelings can be overwhelming
Your body will only let you experience what you can handle at any point in time
Feelings and body sensations are there for a reason
Breathe and listen to your body
Your body wants to give you a message
Observe and take notice

When you are feeling an unpleasant emotion or body sensation the first step is to take a few slow, deep breaths and scan your body from head to toe.

You may notice several uncomfortable sensations. Look for the strongest sensation – the one that bothers you the most. For eg. 1.It may be a lump or tightness in your throat 2. weight, ache or heaviness in your chest or a knot or 3. feeling sick in the stomach.
These body sensations are there for a reason. Don’t try to work it out in your mind. Focus your attention on that sensation. Observe it curiously, as if you are a friendly scientist discovering some interesting new phenomenon.
You can say hello to the body sensation. For eg. “Hello tightness I feel you I will let you be here because you are here anyway”.
Observe the sensation carefully. Notice where it starts and where it ends. Learn as much about it as you can. If you had to draw a line around the sensation what would the outline look like? Is it on the surface of the body or inside you or both? How far inside does it go? Where is the sensation most intense? Where is it weakest? How is it different in the centre than around the edges? Is there any pulsation or vibration within it? Is it light or heavy? Moving or still? What is it’s temperature?
Take a few more deep breaths and LET GO OF THE STRUGGLE with this sensation. BREATHE INTO IT. Imagine your breath flowing inaround it. ALLOW it to be there. You don’t have to like it or want it.

Simply LET IT BE

The idea is to observe the sensation – not to think about it. If your mind starts commenting on what’s happening, just say “Thanks mind” and go back to OBSERVING the sensation. DON’T USE YOUR MIND TO TRY AND WORK IT OUT.
You may find this difficult. You may feel a strong urge to fight with it or push it away. If so, acknowledge this urge, without giving in to it. Acknowledging is like nodding your head in recognition, as if to say “There you are, I see you”. Once you have acknowledged that urge, bring your attention back to the sensation itself.
Don’t try to get rid of the sensation or alter it. If it changes by itself, that’s ok. If it doesn’t change that’s ok too.
CHANGING OR GETTING RID OF THE SENSATION IS NOT THE GOAL.
You may need to focus on this body sensation for anything from a few seconds to a few minutes until you completely give up the struggle with it. BE PATIENT. TAKE AS LONG AS YOU NEED. You are learning a valuable skill.

THOUGHTS OR MEMORIES FROM THE PAST MAY COME UP ASSOCIATED WITH BODILY SENSATIONS. YOU WILL EXPEREINCE A “FELT SENSE”, A KNOWING THAT THOUGHTS AND/OR MEMORIES ARE FROM THE BODY AND NOT THE MIND.

5 Steps to emotional acceptance

OBSERVE – Bring awareness to the feelings and body sensations.
BREATHE – Take a few deep breaths. Breathe into and around them.
EXPAND – Make room for these feelings. Create some space for them.
ALLOW – Allow them to be there. Make peace with them.
TRUST YOURSELF – Get out of the way.

Your body knows what it needs to do

Ref: adapted from Russ Harris “Accepting Emotions” – www.actmindfully.com

Feelings Wheel

Based on Nonvioleont Com muniction by Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D. May be duplicated for personal and for teaching Nonviolent Communication. Graphics and organisation of feelings and needs wheels by Bret Stein. artisan@hotmial.com. Revised 1/1/11

Feelings are internal emotions. Words mistaken for emotions, but that are actually thoughts in the form of evaluations and judgments of others, are any words that follow “I feel like … “or “I feel that … ” or “I feel as if … “or “I feel you … “, such as: